Wow, it has been a while since I last posted. Although, I'd say that I have a pretty good excuse. I had been home (my place in Utah) less than 48 hours when I got the call about my grandpa. 3 days later, I was on a plane back home for the funeral. 6 days after that, I was on a plane again back to Utah. The next 3 days consisted of family-related things in Utah + the burial + a memorial service.
Afterward, we spent the entire day with extended family on the Brown side, and once evening came, Mom and Grandma came with me to Provo to see my place and stay the night. Thursday morning we went to breakfast and then met up with Kent, Grandma's cousin, who lost his son two weeks prior to Grandpa's death (he is the father of John Jones - the one who died in the caving accident in Utah a few weeks ago) and had a really good chat with him. It was really nice to talk with him and be able to relate in such similar ways to having just lost a loved one. And though it is still incredibly difficult, I think he may have helped Grandma see Grandpa's death in a different light. He gave some really good insight. Got me and Mom thinking as well.
This whole thing has got me thinking now more than ever about the importance of family. And I'm not talking about parents and siblings - I mean everyone. Aunts, uncles, cousins, 2nd cousins, cousins once or twice removed... all of it. Family is family and in some way or another, we will all be 'stuck' together forever, so we might as well learn to like it now! Okay, that was trying to lighten the mood a bit, because I already love all of my family. But what I realized, is that I don't even know a lot of my family. I don't know a thing about most of my extended family. And when I say "extended family", I mean beyond the immediate aunts, uncles, and cousins. I mean everyone else. The relatives you have to sit and draw a map to figure out how you're related and what to call each other before simply resigning to "cousin" as the simple answer.
If there is one good thing that has happened from my grandpa's death, it is the reiteration of the importance of family. In the past 3 weeks, I have met so many distant relatives that I can't believe took me this long to meet! (or to get re-acquainted with). My mom has talked about her aunts, Kim and Kay, so many times growing up... but I had never actually met them. Kay's son Rob and I were even friends on facebook... but I still had yet to meet him before the funeral.
On the Brown side (the 1st three were on the Harvey side) I met so many cousins 'once or twice or three times removed' that I couldn't keep track. The only two whose names I remember are Joanne and Paul, and they are awesome. As we were leaving the memorial service in Bountiful, Paul (in his 60s - grandfather-ly type) shouted from his car, "Hey! Maybe I'll see you again in this lifetime, eh?" I will definitely go visit him. Grandma's cousin Kent, whom I spoke of previously, once I "met" him I realized that I remembered him - he was one of the cool 'cousins' at all the Jones Family Reunions I'd been to (my great grandma was a Jones). He reminded me of some of the crazy songs we all sang together.
Doug and Kay (Grandpa's brother and brother's wife) I had not seen since 2004... and they live in Salt Lake, just up the street from Roger! (Grandpa's other brother, whom I visit all the time) Three of their kids DeAnn, Jeff, and Kenny (and their families) all live in Salt Lake and most of them I can't even remember the last time I saw them - before last week. And I'm only 45 minutes away! Then there's Grandma's side of the family (the part currently residing in Utah), with her twin sister Judy's kids, and *their* kids all an hour or less away. But again, I had not seen any of them in 4 or 5 years.
I learned so many new stories about family members of mine this month. I heard new stories about my grandpa (which, if you knew my grandpa, that's pretty surprising), the full story about an uncle of mine passing out in a hospital, childhood stories of the uncles, stories about my great grandma Brown (referred to in my family - Mom and siblings - as Grandma Jean), and so many others. (And for those of you who know my middle name, yes, she is the reason it is Jean). At the memorial service Mom even learned how she got her name. I found personal histories of my great grandpa and great-great grandma that I started to read. I'm learning all sorts of things about family members - both living and dead.
Nowadays, family can be so spread out. My "immediate" family alone spans 6 states and 3 times zones. However, we are blessed with modern technology that allows us to keep in touch in ways we never could have before. We don't have to wait 5 years to send snail mail anymore - we have email, facebook, text messages, picture messages, and the good 'ol phone call.
If you don't already keep in touch with family very well, do it. Our time on this earth is a lot shorter than we realize. Make amends now. Don't let it wait. Your father will always be your father, brother always a brother, etc. Shoot, cousins are sometimes like siblings too. Keep in touch with them also! Family is an amazing blessing and we should never take it for granted. I myself am guilty of that and am going to make it a goal in the coming year to visit as much of my 'super extended family' in Utah as possible.
I don't care how corny this sounds - I mean every word of it:
Friends come and go, but a family really is forever.
1 comment:
Marisa. That was beautiful and profound. Since the passing of my Grandpa, over 15 years ago, we haven't had a big family reunion. I have been thinking a lot about how I should organize one and just hadn't got around to it. I guess now is the time. Thanks for reminding me of the importance of family.
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