No Fear

So... it has been about three weeks since I decided to change my entire outlook on life, live by a new mentality, and just go with it all. Let me just say, these last three weeks have been quite possibly the best three weeks of my life. I feel like I somehow have erased this mountain of stress that was constantly looming above my head and that I am finally - for the first time in my life - free to do whatever the heck I want, without worrying about any of the trivial things that once consumed my life. Like an idiot, I used to unknowingly live by the "I can't do such&such because so&so will think ___." Seriously, how dumb is that? I was talking with a friend of mine about all of this and she reminded me of such a good quote that I think everyone should take into consideration: Why are you so worried about what others will think when all of them are worried about what YOU will think? Seriously, it doesn't matter. 

Something else I've noticed is that I have become a lot more witty in the last three weeks as well. Why? Because even if I had something funny to contribute before, I was always so *worried* that others wouldn't think it was funny and I would then feel like an idiot for saying it. But now? Well, now I don't care anymore. I guess you could say it's less thinking or filtering than before, because now if I have something to add, I say it. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't and when it doesn't, I just say to myself "well, better luck next time!" because honestly, 2 minutes from now, who is going to remember the not-so-funny joke you told at dinner? No one! 

The point here though is that you can't live your life in fear... fear of yourself, fear of others, and fear of how others perceive you. The number one thing I used to worry about was whether or not a guy liked me. If he was a guy friend - whether I was interested in him or not - I had to make sure he thought I wasn't interested. And let's be honest - how DUMB is that? Isn't that the whole point? If you like someone, you *want* said person to think you like them! No wonder I was so bad at that thing we call "flirting"! I let my fears control me and life was not nearly as fun!
I just have no fears and no qualms about anything anymore. If I find the stupid old mindset seeping through, I remind myself "it DOESN'T matter!" If I get a 60 on a test, I say "well, at least it's still passing!" because 10 years from now it's not going to matter if you aced History of Music Literature... as long as you got that degree! That's all that counts in the end. So sure, I still try to get good grades, but if I don't do so hot on a test, OH WELL. 

Gosh, life is so much more stress-free this way! I am ALWAYS in a good mood now and somehow find it a million times easier to see the positive in things now. Not that I wasn't an optimistic person already, but now I don't even have to *try* to see the good things that come from the bad - it's just obvious what good has come of it! Oh my gosh, I just can't believe it took me over 22 years to figure this out! But hey, better late than never!