So, I went in with a good attitude excited for another day of work and another crew to network with. However, my first sign should have been the fact that NO ONE showed up until a half hour after call. I was raised that 'on time' was late and 'early' was on time, so I got there about 5 minutes to 7. Forty-five minutes after call, we finally caravan to the location. One of the first things I ask is "who is the mixer?" The girl supposedly in charge replies with, "Oh we don't have a mixer - we're plugging straight into camera." Great. I'm sorry, but plugging 'straight into camera' never sounds good. You have absolutely no control over anything!! Oh and by the way, thanks for mentioning the 'no mixer' tidbit last night. (note the sarcasm)
"It's only one day" I keep telling myself. So I suck it up and say "oh, alright - where's the boom pole?" She says, "oh I'll go get it" and proceeds to pull this pathetic excuse for a pole out of her car and hands it to me. ... are you kidding me? It was half of a STUDIO mic stand made for inside use only, within a recording studio! It folded in half, but bent in two if it wasn't held in just the right position.
While I'm inspecting this crap of a pole I notice that there's not even a place for a mic. So naturally, my next question is "Um... where am I supposed to put the mic?" I couldn't believe what happened next. This girl proceeds to get this HUGE strip of tape, place the mic at one end of this midget mic stand and TAPE the mic TO the stand. I'm sorry, but there is a REASON boom poles have a shock mount attached to the end of them! They are not there just for decoration or aesthetic pleasure. I am getting more and more frustrated by the minute and as I'm watching her tape this stupid mic to the "pole" I realize that no matter what the situation on set is, there is going to be absolutely NO way to adjust the mic. Why? Because it's TAPED.
Take away the 3 legs at the bottom and extend the other two pieces and you have my "boom pole" for the day. Ridiculous.
This is your typical most basic of boom kits, usually with a bigger boom pole than this one.
I didn't even have a windjammer today... and we were outside all day!!
I didn't even have a windjammer today... and we were outside all day!!
She finishes her tape job and hands me back the 'pole.' Want to guess how long it was? 5 feet... MAYBE. To those of you who don't know an average boom pole size, absolute shortest is about 8 feet - and those are really hard to work with. So here I am, with a 5' makeshift "pole" and a mic taped to the end. Things couldn't get worse, right? WRONG. This girl then hands me the XLR cable... I kid you not, it was only 10' long. ...Right. A 10' XLR and I am tethered to camera. (absolute minimum is about 25').
Our first shot rolls around and I keep constantly getting told "move in closer." I... can't. I am tethered to the camera, with only 10' of 'wiggle room' and a 5' 'pole' that bends in half, remember? Did I mention that this is OUTSIDE next to a busy road, with airplanes overhead and lawnmowers running? And of course, don't forget the 4 barking dogs residing in the houses adjacent to the alley we are filming in... or the DP's big dog whom he brought with him to set.
At that point, I was seriously considering just walking off set. I have never in my life even considered doing that because you just don't do that. But when you aren't even given the supplies needed to do your job, what's the point? They could have pulled someone from the street to do my job with the crap of a set up they had! I was practically fuming inside and ready to rupture any second, so I stopped talking to anyone and everyone, and didn't make eye contact with a single person, because I didn't want to explode.
I started to get thirsty because we were, after all, outside. Even the lowest of low budget productions provide sufficient WATER. Apparently I was wrong. I have NEVER before been on a set that doesn't at least provide an ample supply of water! Oh and there was no craft service whatsoever. I'm sorry, but if you are giving of your time freely, for the cause of your production, the least you can do is provide water and a decent option of snacks.
Eventually they brought a big thing of coffee for everyone to share. Oh great. Just what I need - something I don't drink... Plus, at that point it was 10 or 11 and we'd been in the hot sun for a few hours. I'm not a coffee drinker so maybe I don't get it, but who would want a boiling hot drink outside in the heat in the middle of the day?
And what drove me nuts was that I ALWAYS come to set with at least one full water bottle in my bag. But of course, today was the one day that I didn't because hey, even if they have nothing else, they will at least have water bottles... right?The same girl who did an oh-so-lovely job of taping my boom mic finally came out with water... but they didn't even have the decency to buy us water bottles. It was in a 2-gallon container and we had to use the coffee cups for the water. ...and there were only about 8 coffee cups... and roughly 15 people. By the way... need a restroom? Drive to the Rite-Aid a mile up the street...
And then, just to top it off...
you know that kid who is the epitome of annoying and has a constant chain of questions to ask you, and wants to get his hands on absolutely everything? Meet Hunter. This kid would not shut up the entire day. I mean, a question here and there is fine. I like it when people are interested in sound - it's fun. But not this. This kid (who, might I add, was only 10 years old) would just NOT leave it alone! "Wow that's really cool - is it yours?" / "so can you hear like, everything?" / "how loud is it in your headphones?" / "can I listen on your headphones again?" / "can I hold the pole?" / "can I try?" / "how does it work?" / *shouts* "did you hear that?" /"why do you have to have that wire connected?" / "where did you get those headphones?" / ... you get the idea. I was at the pique of my impending explosion and was just trying to keep from erupting, and then this kid decides to take it upon himself to turn my living nightmare into a full-blown living hell.
I have never in my life had a day of work go by so slowly. And I have never felt so angry, frustrated, and under appreciated on a set, either. Oh, I forgot to mention... the director and I had a little chat about 2 hours into the day and I told him that I had never had to work in these conditions before and basically, that this was absolutely ridiculous. Not to mention the fact that I wasn't going to be able to get ANY clean sound.
Then, in an attempt to assuage me, he decided to tell me "I'm going to dub it all in post anyway." ...so... I'm standing here wasting my entire day why exactly?? In saying that, he basically implied that he had absolutely no use for me at all today. I was so ready to just pack up and walk off. I honestly don't know why I stayed. I guess just because I'm not the type of person who could hang someone out to dry like that. It's just not in me to do it. The person would probably have to be going against my beliefs or something in order for me to actually walk off.
Anyway, the day is over and I learned my lesson: ask questions before you agree to any gig. I didn't think I needed to because booming is pretty self-explanatory. But apparently not. So now I know to make sure that they have a mixer, a proper boom pole, and everything else necessary to make sound at least adequate. Hopefully, better gigs are around the corner...
Post title: early 20th century expression meaning "deteriorating rapidly or utterly."
1 comment:
Seriously frustrating. I had a similar experience with a makeup job I did. But I actually just didn't come back for day 2. CRAZY
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